MTV makes me wanna smoke crack
Ahhh yes, here we go again. The MTV Video Music Awards is quite possibly (no I take that back, IT IS) the most overhyped program in the history of television. For the past two weeks, MTV aired virtually nothing but self-promotional "specials" hyping the event. "Behind the Scenes at the VMAs" // "Classic Moments at the VMAs" // "VMA's Sexiest Moments" // "VMA's Best Kisses" // blah blah blah.
MTV just loves to hype the show as "wild!", "unpredictable!", "groundbreaking!" - things the show hasn't been in years. The sad truth is, MTV is now nothing more than a whore for both the recording industry and advertisers looking for a chunk of every American teen's weekly allowance.
And I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what the hell Kurt Loder does all year.
So why tune in? Why else, but to see if anyone embarrasses themselves, and better yet, puts a crack in the facade of MTV.
So with that, ladies and gentlemen...the 2001 VMAs.
- Yet again, MTV simply cannot get the host spot filled right. Jamie Foxx was the M.C. this year, and while he didn't bomb as horribly as the Wayan Brothers last year, he was mostly d.o.a. That is, except for when he offered a bottle of champagne to that Backstreet Boy fresh out of rehab. :)
- It became clear from the beginning that Fatboy Slim's video was going to win a lot of awards. Chalk it up as a "hip young director" award for Spike Jonze.
- J-Lo proved once again she can't sing.
- Linkin Park? Who? God I'm getting old.
- Macy Gray set a new record for tasteless self promotion. Samuel L. Jackson's crown has been handed down.
- NSync went Lichtenstein, Warhol mad. I wonder what Andy would have thought. Something tells me he'd probably adore them. And, wait a second, was that a Tootsie Roll leather jacket Justin was wearing?
- Gwen Stefani clearly has the Midus touch. Stick her in your next video, and the sky is the limit.
- Jay-Z is THE SOUND of New York. No doubt.
- Andy dick isn't funny.
- NSync thanked their bodyguards. Wimps.
- ""'m a big fan of N Sync, then again, I eat my own poop!" // "J-Lo, can I sniff your butt?" // Thank God for Triumph...
- I'm not sure what to think about Bono bringing out the surviving members of the Ramones during their own video Vanguard award, but at least someone acknowledged the loss. Joey Ramone was, and always will be, a more profound influence on the future of popular music than...say...Aaliyah (sp?) any day. And guess who got all the attention.
- So then came the moment everyone was waiting for >> another vain attempt by Britney Spears and the MTV brass to turn Miss Spears into the second coming of Madonna. She had white tigers, a large snake around her neck, and a slew of dancers that looked like Michael Jackson's "Thriller" meets Jungle Book. She's painfully trying her best to be sexy, alluring, and dangerous, but she's a total phony.
- That was about enough for me, so by the time that "Lady Marmelade" song won another award (that movie was an MTV production, no?) I was gone. Now we'll have to endure another two weeks of the VMAs, but this time in reverse.
Comments
I know i smoke weed not crack
Posted by: Larry Campbell at September 25, 2002 12:07 AM
y do you gotta hate on these people, just because they make more money than you do all year in about ten seconds? Sounds like your the phony bitch BITCH!
Posted by: fumo at November 12, 2002 1:25 PM
you are a whiney lil bitch that has nothin else better to do than complain about these people that dont really care if u call them names because they are so fuckin rich that they could pay to have you killed ten times over. You are a waste of space you lil insignificant peice of shit. I hope you get old an die a lonely person. You are truely a peice of shit and a waste of my time to read your pathedic peice of shit you call an article. Do us all a favore an jump off a bridge. The world needs less negative people like you. I bet your an ugly peice of shit an never has gotten laid bfore besides you hand or your dog.
Posted by: fumo at November 14, 2002 8:56 AM
